I've packed it around since we left your very first home just three years ago. That big bin stuffed so tightly with your tiny baby things. Your first clothes, the hospital issue hat, onesie and blanket. The outfit you wore home that, even in a newborn size was much too big for you. The outfit you wore for seven week pictures; that was the day I just had to get out of the house so we made quick work of an Off Fifth stop and walk-in Target photo shoot before you needed another feeding. The toy that hung from your carrier that you fell in love with; you would chew the tail incessantly...he was really your first Woobie. It was all there. Folded carefully and neatly with every memory intact. I had never gone through it all before but today I decided to sit down with it, to go through each piece one by one, and to remember your first hours, days and months. I've kept less of your clothing since then. Likely because you're messier now. You're all boy as they say and well, things just don't last the same as they did when you spent your days sleeping and swinging. And the memories are different. These days I keep your drawings. I make a mental note to keep that favorite toy. I write down the funny, innocent, sweet things you say. Those are the things I hold on to today.
Ironically today was also about letting go, yet again. Today, Memorial Day 2012, you broke free of my grasp. Without reservation you jumped into that pool and you swam your little heart out to prove to everyone watching that you are a big boy. You, too can swim. You, too can jump from a diving board. You kicked and paddled and with sheer determination you made it to the other side. The look of pride on your face was one I won't soon forget. My heart exploded. Later, you swam up to Daddy and me, your face pure sunshine and happiness and you said, "I have been dreaming of this my WHOLE life!" We laughed together at your excitement and then you were off again...
Sweet boy, I didn't know what I was in for on the day we met but I could never have dreamed this big.
